How often will I be able to see or contact my loved one? 

One of the first and most difficult questions families usually have is about how often they will be able to see their loved one once he or she enters into religious formation. While a religious vocation certainly does shift family dynamics and changes the way that one may have previously been in contact with one's family, we do not ask members to make a sudden or drastic break in family communications. Throughout the formation process, each member is helped to learn how to have healthy and holy relationships with friends and family. Generally speaking, most members find a weekly phone call with parents or a sibling to be good rhythm of communication that honors and strengthens family connections while still safeguarding the new member's ability to create the space for silence, prayer, study, and new community relationships that are an essential part of growing in one's identity as a Franciscan friar or sister. 

 

Home visits are handled differently depending on how far away one's family lives and the particular needs of the person and community. Generally speaking, those whose families are local or nearby see families more often, but for a shorter duration than those whose families are further away and will typically visit for a longer period of time. At this time in our community history, all members have the opportunity to visit family over the Christmas holidays. 

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What about special family occasions? 

We do our best to permit members to attend important family events when possible. Generally, events that are more significant (i.e. weddings, funerals) and are connected to close family relations (siblings, parents, grandparents) are able to be accommodated. At the same time, our life and vocation does call for a commitment to our community life and apostolate in a way that sometimes prevents us from being able to attend family functions that we would have attended prior to entering. This is a normal and healthy part of the sacrifice the Lord asks for in religious life. It also mirrors the reality that many people find themselves in as they move into their vocations to married life as well! As couples grow in their married life, caring children, in-laws, job responsibilities, and other obligations all impact their ability to attend family functions in the same way they did before marriage. No matter our call, there are always ways that our relationships with our families of origin develop and shift over time, and religious life is no different. At the same time, while things like frequency of time together might decrease, as we grow more in our vocations, our relationships with one another are often deepened as each person grows more in holiness and lives more fully into their vocation. 

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What will the process of joining the community look like? 

The process of joining a religious community is intentionally lengthy in order to best safeguard the freedom of the person joining and the charism of the community. If you are reading this page, likely your loved one has already embarked on the initial step of responding to the Lord's call - actively learning about and getting to know different religious communities. Over time, the person will discover through prayer, spiritual direction, conversation with the community vocation director, and reflecting on their experiences if the Lord is calling them to a particular community. At that point, the candidate would request to begin the application process with that particular community. Canon (Church) Law and the norms of each community dictate what the application process entails, but it is always a careful, thorough process. After this, if a candidate is accepted, they will be given an entrance date and begin their religious formation. You can learn more about our community's formation process by visiting the page here. The final commitment of one's life takes place with Final Vows, 6-8 years after beginning initial formation. By this point, both the individual member and the community are certain that God is indeed calling this person to commit to this community for the rest of his or her life. No matter how unsure or even upset families have sometimes been when the application process first began, every Final Vows ceremony we have celebrated has been marked by great joy and peace for both the individual Franciscan and their families. 

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Will the community really provide for their needs? 

Yes! The Church mandates that religious communities have the means to provide for the legitimate needs of their members. This means that ensuring that all members have access to good medical, dental, physical, educational, and any other kind of care one might need. The Guardian (superior) of the community is responsible for ensuring that this is carried out.

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